2012

There's a lot of "stuff" in the air for the start of a new year & it makes me think this one will be rather interesting. Yes some of it is of my own doing, complicating my life in some ways that are positive & in some that may not be quite so clever but seem necessary at this point.

I am battling with my self perception, particularly the effect that the MS has on me and viewing myself as a lesser person because of it. Realistically it doesn't make me that different from other people but I am incredibly aware that many others treat me differently (varying from "made of porcelain" through to "Unclean Plague carrier.. flee.. flee now")  Those who do not treat me differently belong in two camps also.... those who dont care because they just dont give a rats as I am not their problem & those who just accept me for me regardless of my level of function that very second.

Most people belong in the first 3 groups, including many people "close" to me. My favourites are the few from the last group, the ones that can laugh with me when something silly happens, the ones that treat me as a person with a heart, a sense of humour & a temper. Those ones make me feel human, like the old me but better, like there is hope.... those ones I adore & need more of in my life.

I am far from perfect (as many of you well know), but hopefully this year I'll learn to accept the new version of me that emerges. Or at least start to........